Pregnancy After Miscarriage: How to Cope with Grief and Joy
No matter how much time has passed since a miscarriage, it is never something that truly leaves you. It can feel bittersweet when you do experience pregnancy after miscarriage. It can feel like excitement and guilt at the same time. If you are in this space of limbo, you are not alone.
Whether you’ve had one miscarriage or several, it’s difficult to imagine life after that event. Not only that, but you feel a sense of anxiety with a new pregnancy just waiting with baited breath until you can hold that sweet baby in your arms and let go of the fear of miscarriage.
Your feelings are valid as you journey on the path after miscarriage. Wanting a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage doesn’t make you a bad or selfish person. You loved that baby that was lost and you will still love them forever. Now is your time to experience joy during grief with this new pregnancy.
What is a Miscarriage?
A miscarriage is a sudden loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week of gestation. This is the time when the body determines if the pregnancy is viable. If a woman’s body discovers a mutation such as too many or too few chromosomes, the body will halt the process of pregnancy and the woman will miscarry.
The most important thing to remember is that a miscarriage is no one’s fault. It is the body’s natural way of protecting itself. Many women blame themselves for the miscarriage and often ask themselves what they could have done differently. There is nothing anyone can do to prevent what the body determines as a risk. Learn more about ways to cope with miscarriage.
Pregnancy After Miscarriage
The good news is that a miscarriage does not define you. Just because you have experienced a miscarriage doesn’t guarantee that it will happen again or that you won’t be able to carry a full term baby in the future.
A successful pregnancy after miscarriage is referred to as a rainbow baby. This term comes from the notion that after a storm (miscarriage) comes a rainbow (baby).
5 Ways to Find Joy in the Grief
You are allowed to find joy in the grief of a miscarriage. The following ideas are meant to help you cope while also honoring yourself with the grief and joy you are experiencing.
See a Therapist
A miscarriage is a traumatic event for a woman and her family. This often leads to new ways of thinking for the brain. Seeing a therapist following a miscarriage is essential to your mental health. Therefore, seeing a therapist during pregnancy after miscarriage can be the most beneficial thing you do for yourself.
As a maternal mental health therapist, I specialize in helping women who have experienced a loss, such as miscarriage. Through a partnership together, we can get you to a place of acceptance, specifically accepting grief and joy together. Pregnancy after a miscarriage can be beautiful.
Find Community
You are not alone in this journey. Find a community you can join for support as you navigate this experience. It can be an online community or in-person. Surround yourself with those who understand fully what it is like to be in your shoes. Confide in them and ask for suggestions on how you can enjoy this pregnancy. Support from a community is more important than ever to heal.
Talk to Both Babies
There is no shame in remembering the baby that was lost while celebrating the baby growing inside of you. Talk to both of them as if they are both there already with you. Use keepsakes of the angel baby to have in your home while looking at ultrasounds of this new baby. Both babies hold a special place in your heart now and forever.
Share with Your Support System
Your support system full of family and friends wants nothing but the best for you. During your time of grieving, they are also grieving your loss with you. Lean on them to support you during this transition. Express yourself by sharing your thoughts, fears, and tears with them. Your pregnancy after miscarriage is important to them as well.
Grace in All Things
Most importantly, give yourself grace in all things you experience during this pregnancy. You are allowed to cry at the same time you feel joy. You are allowed to miss the baby that was lost while anticipating the birth of your rainbow baby. No matter how you feel and the emotions that stem from those, you are valid. Give yourself grace.
This also means not setting time limits on your grieving process. There are no time limits. You can experience a series of better days and then a bad day creeps in. That is okay and those days are worthy of your grace. Your mental, physical, and emotional health are all relying on the gentleness you show yourself in this journey.
Celebrate Pregnancy After Miscarriage Without Guilt
Guilt often clouds a woman’s journey in pregnancy after miscarriage. Many women feel like they are simply forgetting the angel baby while they are growing another baby. This is simply not true. As guilty as this might make you feel, it will take time to work through it to experience pregnancy after miscarriage without guilt.
If you are ready to feel more joy, talk through anxieties, and make a plan for your mental health, schedule your free consultation with me now. Together, we can make a plan of action that includes you taking back control of your mental health and your emotions.
This isn’t an easy thing to experience. One day and one step at a time will lead you to more days full of brightness. Use the ideas listed here to help you in this trying time. You can do this; you are not alone.