Changing Society’s Perspective on Maternal Mental Health
It’s hard enough to be a mom when it feels like society is judging your every move and decision you make for your baby. It seems like nothing you do is the “right” thing. This leaves moms feeling like they have to put on a façade that everything is okay when really their maternal mental health could be suffering.
Imagine bringing a baby into this world; it’s supposed to be the happiest, most gratifying moment of your life. Instead, it is filled with so much doubt, sleepless nights, tears (from you and the baby), and you feel like something is wrong. Truthfully, nothing is wrong with you. But your mental health could be on the verge of a breakdown.
What is Maternal Mental Health?
The exact definition of maternal mental health as defined by the World Health Organization includes, “a state of well-being in which a mother realizes her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her community.” Essentially, a mother who is struggling with postpartum depression is struggling with her maternal mental health.
Mothers who are unable to perform duties they used to enjoy or be productive in different ways are showing signs of a weakened maternal mental health. This doesn’t mean at one month postpartum, you need to be running marathons. It does mean, however, that you should take precautions early on to recognize any differences in yourself regarding your mental health to understand if you need assistance.
5 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression doesn’t care who you are, how much money you make, your marital status, etc. It can happen to anyone, which means it is best to know how to cope.
Report to Your Doctor
The first thing you should do when coping with postpartum depression is report it to your doctor. Postpartum depression is severely underreported. Therefore, the more moms that do report it, the more accurate the data will be. This will then show just how crucial the research is to help this large population.
Your doctor can help answer questions for you, give you referrals for therapists, or just be an ear if you need someone to talk to about your experience. It is important that you know there is help out there and your doctor can be that first line of defense.
Talk About Your Experience
There is no shame in talking openly about your experience with postpartum depression. This can be a form of healing for you as you acknowledge it and stop hiding it from others (including yourself). When you talk about challenges, you begin to move into the acceptance phase. After acceptance, you can start rebuilding yourself again. Change society’s narrative about keeping hush-hush on the topic.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to friends and family about it yet, then talking with a therapist can be extremely beneficial. We are here to support you and give you the tools you need to make it through this challenging time. Postpartum depression doesn’t last forever, but the way you handle it will impact you long-term. Let’s start off on the right foot with a quick, free consultation.
Make a Plan
Your support system is absolutely key in coping with maternal mental health issues. You need to have people around who love and care for you to help any way you need them to. This could be as simple as sitting with you for an hour a day or once per week just so you can have adult interactions. Your needs are just as important as the needs of your new baby. Talking to your support system is also important to help them understand just how much help a new mom needs.
Make a plan for people in your support system to help do things for you. This could include setting up a meal train, sending you care packages, cleaning your home for you, etc. Your focus should be on doing less while you heal (which can take up to a year). This will also help your mental health because you won’t be focused on things that you feel aren’t getting done around the house.
Document Your Journey
Keeping a journal or even using a notepad app on your phone can be helpful in coping with postpartum depression. Being able to get your thoughts out of your head can be a release that you need. Write down things you are feeling, what you experienced that day, what your thoughts are, etc. None of it has to make sense (i.e. you don’t have to write a perfectly poised essay). Just start writing to document your journey.
Learn from Others’ Experiences
I want to preface this by saying not everyone will have the same experience if they struggled with postpartum depression. However, it can be a good thing to talk to others about their experiences. Don’t be afraid to ask questions from friends, family, and even people you might meet online.
This will help you remember you are not alone and understand that maternal mental health challenges affect everyone differently. There is no one obvious sign or symptom. It’s a process to recognize, document, and share.
Don’t Let Society Dictate Your Feelings
It’s easy to hide in plain sight because you don’t want others to judge you or maybe you just don’t understand what you are feeling. Society has taught moms that they must be joyous about having a baby. Society tells moms they are a “bad mom” if they can’t handle it all. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Don’t let society dictate your feelings.
I am here to tell you (as a professional who is educated in maternal mental health) that you are not alone if you are struggling with postpartum depression. If you are someone who needs help with postpartum depression, let’s make a plan together to guide you through it. It just takes one free call with me to start your healing process.